


Do no harm

by zzeacat



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Past Abuse, Protective Chloe Decker, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 01:12:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17376728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzeacat/pseuds/zzeacat
Summary: Chloe overhears Lucifer and his therapist talking, and is terrified when she hears them mention self-harm. She must get to the bottom of this, but what happens when she finds Lucifer at a new low.Or Chloe realises Lucifer is more damaged than she lets herself believe and she patched him up when she finds he has hurt himself.Slow build to the injury lots of worried Chloe and very observant Chloe. NOT a reveal fic but strategically avoiding it like the show does.





	Do no harm

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to those who left comments on my last fic it motivated me allot. If you wnat tell me if you wnat more lucifer or I am thinking of branching out into daredevil. I HAVE AN EDDITOR Now yay,who goes over the work so it should b better not perfect but better. Enjoy.

When Linda came, to pick Chloe up from work to have some girl time, Chloe never expect to have her night overthrown by an accidental discovery. She had heard Linda’s voice in the distance and approached her voice slowly, carrying files in one hand, a mug of coffee in the other, and a pen in her mouth. Dan was standing next to Lucifer and Linda, who were talking. She had stopped so she was almost hiding behind a corner, out of their vision to watch them. She watched as Dan left, patting Lucifer on the back as a goodbye, Lucifer noticeably winced, Linda noticed too and grabbed Lucifers arm, she looked angry.   
“Lucifer, please tell me, that... That flinch was because of some stupid sex thing and not because you have been doing….. That again. We talked about this!” Linda scolds quietly, clearly exasperated. Chloe knew at this point she shouldn’t be listing, Linda had her therapist voice on, clearly talking about something they as doctor and patient had discussed, it was private, but she couldn’t bring herself to move, to stop listening.   
“My skin itches when I don’t, it is like I can feel his hands on me still, and I want to wash is control off of me.” Lucifer mumbles, almost angrily, “I don’t know why you, and my brother make such a big fuss about it anyway, I am fine, and a little pain is refreshing now and then. It’s good to feel something, other than wonderful orgasms that is.” He smirks, but Linda was having none of his jokes. Chloe felt cold at how nonchalantly Lucifer spoke of this issue, he spoke in his usual jovial and flirtatious manner, as if nothing was wrong.   
“Lucifer, this is not a game! And this is not a heathy way to feel something, you are hurting yourself Lucifer! Self-harm is a serious issue and you saying it is refreshing, it disturbs me, Lucifer, if you were any other patient I would have had you placed in an institution with no sharp objects. I might call your brother to keep an eye on you,” she threatens, pointing her finger.  
“Please,” He drawls. “I do not need babysitting, I will not kill myself, if that is what you are worried about. Already done that, remember you were there, but if it makes you feel better, if you don’t call my brother on me tonight, I won’t ‘self-harm’ as you say, and we can have a session tomorrow so you can understand my predicament better,” he says, making air quotes at the words self-harm, as if he disagreed with the term.   
Linda sceptically agreed. “Fine but Chloe and I will stop by Lux at the end of our night out, and if I don’t see you there I will be checking in on you.” Lucifer rolled his eyes at this.   
“Go, have fun, father knows the Detective deserves a night off.”   
‘SHIT,’ Chloe thought, watching as Lucifer crosses the room and Linda began walking in her direction, she turned around quickly, trying to compose herself at the bombardment of new information, she most definitely should not have heard. She walks a few steps, turns around again and does her best to act surprised when Linda comes around the corner, thankful for the pen in her mouth and full hands saving her from having to do fake a surprised greeting. 

……………………………………..

For their girls night out, Chloe and Linda went to a trivia event at a bar, not to far from Lux. They both quickly forgot their worries and they grew warm with beer and of course, were quickly winning the trivia event, Chloe nailing all the pop culture and sports questions, due to her time as an actress and her love of contact sports and Linda nailing the science questions due to her time studying for her PHD.   
When they stumbled out of the bar holding their victory trophy; a pink oversized wine glass that said ‘Smart Bitch’ on it, Linda opened her phone to call an Uber.   
“Now, we have made our winnings, and I have gotten reasonably, I mean unreasonably, I mean, I don’t know what I mean, but I am drunk and should go home,” Linda mumbled, looking down at her phone.  
Chloe was still swaying, looking into the pink glass wishing it were full of wine, when Linda’s promise to Lucifer ruined her peaceful drunken thoughts.  
“No, no, NO, we should go to Lux,” Chloe drawled out, slapping Linda on the shoulder, hoping she wouldn’t inquire as to why. Linda took a sharp intake of breath, clutching her phone to her chest slightly sobering up, her therapist side taking over for a second, Chloe knowing she had just remembered she should check on Lucifer.  
“Yes, YES, you Chloe, truly are… One smart bitch,” she said, pointing at the glass in Chloe’s hands. 

……………………………………………

At their arrival to Lux, Linda immediately enquired after Lucifers whereabouts, she was told he went up to his pent house, about half an hour ago, alone, the bartender said punctuating alone, either to tell them it was safe to go up there or that something was wrong, Chloe was too drunk to know or care which.   
When they went into the elevator an uncomfortable silence fell as the loud music was gone and they were left with just their own breathing to listen to.   
“I hope he is showing,” Linda whispered giggling, still too drunk to take checking on Lucifer fully seriously.  
“Oh my god, Linda you are too drunk!” Chloe laughed, secretly agreeing with her, remembering the time she had found Lucifer naked, smiling to herself.  
“I know, I am his therapist, but occasionally I do miss not being. I am too drunk too not admit he is very, very sexy.”   
They both broke into hysterical, girlish laughter and where still laughing when the elevator door opened. Lucifer looked up at them amused, immediately standing form where he was reading on the couch, his glasses still sitting on the bridge of his nose. He was in one of his silk robes, it was a hot night so he had on only boxers underneath so his muscular legs were in full view under his rather short dressing gown that he shamelessly wore gaping open exposing just half of his sculpted chest. But what Chloe found most distracting if not his body, or how ridiculously cute he appeared with glasses on, it was that he appeared to have showered recently, his hair only just dry and it was curly and fluffy looking without product in it.   
“It appears you made good on your promise Linda, you gave Chloe a good night,” he said smugly, gliding over to them. Chloe now transfixed and Linda sceptically looking at him, as he had again become her patient at the mention of her promise. Lucifer smirked at Chloe staring at him and she couldn’t help but blush praying it would pass as the booze in her system.   
“I didn’t know you were a nerd Lucifer, glasses,” she quipped.   
“You two appear to be the nerds here,” he said, swiping the glass form Chloe’s hand.  
“Smart Bitch, ha, well I suppose that is an apt description for the two of you, it would be more accurate it had sexy on it too, we wouldn’t want to perpetuate the stereotype that smart women are only rude and ugly, now would we,” he said, giving Linda a wink.   
“No I guess not, and how was your night,” Linda asked, very unsubtly mind you, but she was too drunk to care or notice Chloe’s lack of surprise at her prodding.  
“Uneventful, the usual, alcohol, a sexy man, who wanted to be a veterinarian, not actor this time which is new and refreshing.” Lucifer strode back to his couch, waving his hand as if describing a trip to a grocery store or any other menial task. Chloe again blushing at the thought of Lucifer and a sexy man, her mind forgetting why the question was asked in the first place. Linda seemed satisfied with his answer knowing he may evade the truth, but he doesn’t lie.   
“You girls are smashed, you should go home drink some water. I will call you a cab.”  
And that is exactly what happened, they went home and things went back to normal. Kind of.

………………………….

Since that night, Chloe kept an eye out for signs of injury on Lucifer. It was difficult as he always wore long sleeves, but she was a cop, if anyone could notice it would be her right?   
After cases she thought might be difficult she would visit Lucifer late at night to check on him, but he was always fine, but it still gnawed at the back of her mind, because he always seemed fine before she knew. Knowing someone you care about, could be hurting so bad emotionally and you don’t know when was madding.  
One night after a particularly long, but boring case that Lucifer seemed to have no interest in, it happened again. Dan patted Lucifer on the back and he flinched the same way as before. Chloe snapped. She grabbed Lucifer by the elbow, dragging him into a utility closet.   
“Wow Detective, this was sudden I never thought of you as a sex in a public place kind of person, but this will do just fine,” he jokes, smiling down at her in the confined space.   
“What was that!” She hoarsely whispered, he looked genuiely confused now, a little upset, having no idea what he had done to hurt the Detective.   
“What was what?” He asked now no longer joking, a further testament to his vunerable state, that Chloe was kicking herself for not noticing.   
“This!” She said, poking hard at Lucifers back, eliciting an involuntary wince from her beloved devil.  
“You know me Detective, I live for danger and sexual stunts,” he said, rolling his eyes.   
But Chloe knew better, this was no sex stunt gone wrong, he never lied, but Lucifer sure was good at avoiding the truth when he wanted to. He wasn’t making eye contact, because he hated even twisting the truth.   
“Lucifer I know. I overheard you and Linda talking a while ago. About self-harm. What happened, why did you hurt yourself again, what did you do?” Chloe looked deep into Lucifer dark eyes this time, her eyes slightly glossy with unshed tears.  
“O, no no no, Detective don’t get upset over this little thing. I am fine, you must understand. My father he can’t control me anymor,e this is a good thing,” he said, grasping her shoulders. “I am fighting against those who hurt me in the past, isn’t that what you are meant to do?”  
Chloe’s heart was aching, Lucifer never lies and he truly believes, somehow, that whatever it was he is doing to hurt himself, its somehow fighting his father. Chloe so wanted to know what his father did to him, how had he been so damaged, and why he seemed so confused that Chloe cared.   
“Lucifer, this isn’t fighting your father, this is punishing yourself. I am scared Lucifer, I didn’t even know something was wrong! How we are meant to be partners, when I can’t tell when you are upset!”   
“Why do you care what I do to myself so much?” Lucifer looked like a confused child, flinching back at Chloe’s quiet yell.   
“Because, that’s what people, who love you do Lucifer, they take care of you and you tell them when you are upset,” Chloe didn’t hesitate when she said ‘love you,’ she didn’t care how Lucifer took it, he needed to know that this didn’t just hurt him, it hurt her.   
“I….. I don’t know, what people who love you are meant to do Chloe. I guess I am still learning that one, thank you for teaching me, I will endeavour to tell you when I feel the urge to rebel against my father more than usual in the future. But I must assure you I am fine, the devil heals quickly,” Lucifers eyes were watering and he left the room silently.   
Chloe unable to move at his words, had Lucifer never really felt love? She knew the answer, she wished she didn’t, she had hoped it would be easier than this, she had hoped Lucifer would be his usual light jokey self, but she guessed you can’t joke about this and still be truthful. 

………………………………………………………….

Since their conversation, Lucifer had gone back to normal, as if he thought that pretending that they said nothing, he could avoid it. Chloe realised he did this a lot, ran away from his feelings. She noticed more actually, things that made more sense now she realised he really didn’t know what love even the small kind was. When he was hugged by Trixie he flinched but didn’t actually look like he hated it but, rather seemed surprised at her affection every time, as if he expected her to suddenly hate him every time they meet. He always seemed genuinely surprised at the smallest of nice things form others, when Ella gave him a cookie he looked at it fondly for a minute before eating it. When conversations got serious, he made sex jokes to change the subject.   
But Chloe was learning, she saw new things, silence meant he was contemplating something, too much talking meant he was trying to fix something; it was when he started to bounce between the two in one day she knew something was truly wrong, he would ramble and leap out of the room to keep occupied but remain completely silent in the car, or when she was speaking he wouldn’t interrupt until she was looking at him and he realised where he was again.  
She grew concerned and as she lay on her couch late in the night, after Trixie had gone to sleep, she couldn’t take her worry anymore, she drove to Lux desperately hoping she was wrong about her deduction, hopefully he would just be drunk or maybe high to cope with his feelings, as he usually coped with whatever trauma he had. 

…………………………….

It was so much worse.   
When the elevator doors opened she was greeted by an eerie silent space, not a peep, no music no, sexual moans just quiet. Until a thud and a deep groan from the hallway.  
She rounded a corner, following the sound, but she wasn’t prepared for what she saw. Chloe had seen many bloody crimes scenes, but this this shook her more than any of them. Lucifer was leaning against the wall blood, on his hands, a decorative curved blade still grasped tightly in his fingerd, blood dripping down his legs and spread over his shoulders. She gasped, eyes welling up with tears, covering her mouth with both hands.   
“Detective, what are you….”   
He was too weak to continue his casual questing, groaning. “I am sorry but I am not really in the mood for guests right now.” He smiled weakly at her. Again she grew angry, how could he do this, how could he smile at her, as his own blood pooled at his feet, after he had promised to try and talk to her.  
“Lucifer what have you done?” She couldn’t hold back her tears now, she slowly approached him, but he backed away, as if the anger in her tone meant she might hurt him. More tears spilled from her eyes and he let her approach him.  
“I am sorry I didn’t realise it would make you cry,” Lucifer whispers, she sighed deeply touching his face gently.  
“Let’s get you cleaned up.” She gently lead him to his bed and in silence went to his bar, where she knew she had seen a first aid kit once. She was not prepared, to be confronted with the injuries, he had inflected on his own back. The wounds gaped open they were red and uneven, he had cut off the skin on his back, hacking at it over his shoulders. Chloe remembered the scars she had seen before here, these looked much the same.   
“O Lucifer, truly, what have you done,” she murmured, this time softly, gently touching his uninjured lower back, he again, flinching at her touch.  
“I told you, I wouldn’t let my father control me. So I cut them off, my wings, like before, I won’t let his creation, his mark be left on me, no, it is my life, my body, it will have my marks.” Chloe grew angry as he spoke, his words sounding weak and foreign, his injuries clearly draining him. Chloe ignored his wings comment, thinking she might have understood what had happed, he had cut of the scars his father gave him, so that the scars he had where not the scars his father gave him, but scars he gave himself, he was trying to have control.   
“Lucifer, I don’t begin to think I understand you and your father, but this, I know won’t help. Trying to remove whatever it is he gave you, wanting to change these marks and pain you went through because of him, it won’t fix it. Take control by not letting him hurt you anymore.” She leant forward at this, gently padding the blood off his back. Lucifer remained silent for a few minutes, and in the silence she cleaned up the blood. “If that doesn’t work, can you….. Can you please stop, for me?” Chloe said, whispering and choking on her own words as she cried. Lucifer turned around, stiffly, and slowly made eye contact with her crying eyes.   
“I would do anything you asked of me, Chloe.” He gently reached out, wiping a tear off her cheek, she leant into his hand and sniffled.   
“Good, now turn around and let me fix you up.”   
Lucifer obliged and she continued slowly cleaning his back; Lucifer clearly holding back winces of pain. She washed his back and torso, then began dressing the wound neatly, wrapping bandages around him. when she had finished, she nodded at her good work, eyes still blearing with tears. She could no longer focus on his bleeding, he was looking down at her, she could feel is gaze on her, when she finally looked up his eyes instantly met hers. He looked so vulnerable, curious.   
“Why does this bother you so much,” he asked, with such genuine curiosity, she couldn’t help but sigh into her cry.   
“Lucifer, it bothers me because you are in pain, because you are in pain you caused yourself, out of some misguided rebellion. Because I am angry, Lucifer.” She stopped as he flinched and her words, then she started again.  
“Not at you Lucifer, I am angry, because you think that this was right, because I think no one ever told you to love yourself and I don’t know if with all your confidence, you actually put yourself first like you pretend to. I am angry, because there is no bad guy I can punish for this. Lucifer, I care about you. Try to understand, what if it was me who was hurt?”   
He stiffened at her last words   
“I believe if it was you who was hurt, I would be a rather unfortunate mess, as I am now,” he sighed, looking down at his hands   
“I know, it might take you some time Lucifer,!but you have to begin to let someone in.” Chloe paused for a moment, wanting to put this in terms Lucifer could truly understand. “People make deals with you right? Deals with the devil, they ask and you give, right?”   
“Yes. For a favour in the future, an IOU to the devil, yes,” Lucifer agreed quizzically, confused as to where this was going.  
“Well, I am making a deal, and you don’t break your deals. Next time you feel like this, when you think you might intentonally hurt yourself, like this or in any other way. You call me first. no matter the time or the place or if we have been arguing, whatever, just call me. And after the debt has been sufficiently paid, I owe you one ok?” Chloe felt brilliant with her plan, Lucifer would never back out on a deal or the temptation of her owing him one, even in his emotionally vulenrable state. She could finally rest easier, knowing there was a plan for him now.   
“It may be a strange deal, Detective. But I have never been one to give up the chance for a good deal. I look forward to you repaying me in the future,” he smiled at this, but not fully, his eyes still glinting with some tears, confusion still lingering in his voice. “Thank you,” Lucifer whispered, resting his head in Chloe’s lap, who was now leaning against the head board of Lucifers bed. They both stayed silent the rest of the night, Lucifer quickly falling asleep in Chloe’s lap as she unconsciously stroked his hair, gazing down at his bandages. How had it come to this? Nursing a broken man, who believed himself the devil, not only how had she become like this, but contemplating how Lucifer had become like this. Her sad thoughts, of an abused and controlled child racked her mind, until she too fell asleep out of emotional exhaustion. 

…………………………………………

Lucifer awoke with a groan of pain, only to find his head in a pillow rather than Chloe’s lap. He got up, an overwhelming sense of self-pity filling him, wondering if Chloe was just a dream last night, passed out from the blood loss again maybe. But when he got out of bed, roundinf the corner into the main area, He found Chloe sitting on his sofa nursing a cup of coffee.   
“You’re here Detective,” he stated dumbly, still tired with pain and in shock. Chloe looked up from her coffee, smiling, amused at his dishevelled state his curly hair and big eyes making him looked like a lost cat, but his surprise reminding her of his emotional state.   
“Of course I am,” she stated, as matter of fact as she could muster. “I had Dan drop by my house to look after Trixie and -“  
“I thought, you might have been a hallucination, from blood loss again” he mumbled under his breath, interrupting her and then sitting stiffly in the sofa across form her.   
“What,” Chloe whispered, but she had heard him, and was ever gladder she had decided to come over last night, to stop this nonsense.   
Lucifer just looked away again, as usual ignoring everything as always when he said things that should be bigger issues than he makes them out to be.   
“You remember our deal don’t you Lucifer?” Chloe asked forcing eye contact.   
“I never forget a deal, trust me,” he stated, starting to sound a bit more like himself. 

……………………………….

And things continued as usual, Chloe worried about Lucifer. She had gotten into the habit of gently touching Lucifer’s back whenever she could, just to check. She would touch his back when leading him through doors or when she walked up to stand next to him. He clearly knew what she was doing but he didn’t seem to mind. He seemed to like it actually, occasionally leaning into her touch. Chloe, again, had a sad thought, Lucifer seemed so uncomfortable with a casual, caring touch unless he trusted the person, but had he ever really had people touch him, when it wasn’t for sex or to harm him? Probably not, she thought. And after that, she made an effort to continue warming him to casual, caring, non sexual touch. And all was well. Until she finally got the call. 

………………………………………

It was 2 am when the phone started buzzing, waking her, as soon as she saw the caller ID she was wide awake.   
“Lucifer.”  
“Chloe I…… I feel that way again.”  
“I will be right over, Lucifer don’t do anything,just stay where you are you are.”  
“I’m not home.”  
“Ok, Lucifer where are you?” She asked urgetly, holding the phone to her shoulder while putting pants on.   
“At the beach, you know the one.”   
“I will be right there,” before she could say more, he hung up.   
Crap she thought. It took all of Chloe’s self-restraint not to put her sirens on, to speed all the way there. She did speed, but only a little. Ok, more than a little.   
When she got there she could seem him right away, his white button up shirt standing out against the dark night, he was sitting neatly on the sand. She took off her shoes, and quietly walked to his side, sitting herself next to him. She carefully reached out, laying her hand on top of his. Lucifer eyes kept sky-bound, the stars reflecting in them. They stayed like this for a while him watching the stars and her watching him.   
“Lucifer, what happened?”  
“It is stupid, really,” he said, leaning back and laying fully in the soft sand. Chloe followed his lead and lay next to him facing him, searching his eyes for something. “Clearly, not to you,” he turnt his face upward, facing the stars again. She thought, she might have lost him for a second until he spoke.   
“My brother, thinks I am a test, a mission from our father, he thinks, he must suffer caring for me in order to gain my father’s favour.”  
He remained silent for a few minutes and Chloe tried to understand, Lucifer let out a choked huff of laughter, “and I was foolish enough to believe he stayed for me, to think maybe my mother had been right. That he had a brother’s love for me. That I could have any semblance of a family!”  
Chloe understood now, she rolled over and got up on her knees to re-position herself, she laid her head On his chest carefully, listening to his heart beat. His chest began to rise unevenly as he quietly sobbed.   
“You have me,” she whispered, Lucifer’s breath stopped for a second and he gently placed his arm around her. He just held her, gazing at the stars, tears rolling down his face, his breath slowing easing under her, until he could speak.   
“All I need is you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment I live reading them!!!!


End file.
